Respect Should Never Have to be “Earned”
A lot of sayings have embedded themselves into English vernacular over the ages.
Unfortunately, some of them are total nonsense.
Here’s a great example:
“Respect is earned, not given.”
Uh, is it?
As someone who regularly thinks about leadership, communication, equity, and inclusion in the workplace, I find this expression very problematic.
I'd wager that most people who use it fall into one of two groups:
People who have never thought critically about what it implies
Narcissists
Nobody must “earn” my respect because I strive to give everyone my respect freely, and I will continue until a person does something egregious enough to lose it. Thankfully, most people never will.
Withholding respect until everyone proves their worthiness implies that everyone is unworthy of respect until they've been measured by a set of subjective criteria.
This is the opposite of inclusivity.
Let’s be very clear: Most people deserve respect.
The only people who don’t deserve respect fall into a relatively small group composed primarily of liars, cheats, thieves, bullies, and thugs who would harm others for personal gain.
But I feel relatively confident that more than half the earth’s population consists of “generally good” people who deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
Even people who have lost their way should be given the chance for redemption, with very few exceptions.
On any given day, I believe that I’ll meet more people deserving of my respect than not, so I’m happy to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
Some might say this type of optimism is naïve, but I think it's a crucial part of creating healthier, more inclusive workplaces and communities.
As Jackie Robinson once said:
"I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being."
